30.12.12

We Lift Our Voices


This weekend was incredible. 

Uplifting

Encouraging
Powerful
......

We worshiped.

We prayed.
We sang.

Oh, the singing. 


Not with instruments made by man, but with our voices, hand crafted by our Creator for His' ordained worship. 


Two thousand Christians


Surrounded by some of my closest friends, I could not help but lift my voice up even more. 


You did it again Lord, you surprised me once again with your magnificent plan. 


So I give my voice to the you, Lord. For you to use, for your glory. 


... speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord...
Ephesians 5:19








  



8.11.12

More Than Just Amazed

I sat back and watched, listening to laughter of my newfound friends.
The smiles, the laughs, the innocent teasing...the kindness. A room filled with God's love.
I am in awe. I can't help but to smile. So blessed, so happy now. 
Amazing, spiritual young men sharing scripture with one another, encouraging me, encouraging others.
The most wonderful, incredible group of girls. Long discussions, tears, laughter, hugs. Silly talks about boys and crushes.
Sisters.
This is what I have been searching so long for. 
I can't help but smile even more, because I finally feel like I belong.
I silently praise the Lord. Thanking Him for this. 
No, it won't always be this easy, not always this perfect, but God never will cease to care, to amaze me with His incredible plan.
How much I fought against it. But you Lord, proved me wrong. And I thank you so much for that. 
I have changed so much. Happy, content, healed. This was Your whole plan all along.



4.10.12

Mind Blowing, Heart Humbling

I start to tear up, trying to shake off this feeling that has felt so dormant until now.
I remember, only a year ago.
The feeling of uncertainty, so scared of what was to come.
I felt alone. 
Like I didn't belong. Something was missing.
I came here. 
The newness, the fresh start. Being so stubborn to want my way in things. Busy, stressed at times. And then it came all at once.
No, God, really? You want me to do that? To change MY plans, to change what I wanted to happen.
I fight it, I tell myself no. And then, I slowly let the idea sink into my heart.
Oh Lord, maybe you are right. Could this be it? This plan, this purpose you have had for me all along? 
I get excited, a little scared. I talk with my parents, I see my dad. His encouragement, his wisdom that maybe this is what needs to be done.
So now I plan and prepare. I change what I wanted to do, to this new passion tugging on my heart.
I don't know what will happen. But I want to try it, to see if this is what I need to do.
Every new beginning begins with single step and now Lord, lead me in Your steps.  

13.9.12

Away With the Mask

A Christian University.

That's what the sign says out front.
We go to chapel. We pray, we sing.
We have Bible class.
We even have Christian professors.
So I can just blend in right? Not have to worry about my faith, my presence in other people's lives.


Wrong.


Sure I knew that there would be temptations, ungodly influences. But what about those who had never even heard about Christ? Those who don't understand His love, His guidance?
Not here, not as this place.

Oh has the Lord opened my eyes even more.

Broken hearts, broken homes, anger.
Each person here has this story, this past.
I can lie, I can say I don't.
I put on this mask, so no one can peer in. So they can't see the real me.


So Lord, take away this mask of mine. Don't let me hide. 



"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16



Be the light, be transparent. Take away that mask I so expertly hide under. Because maybe then, I could finally reach out.  

4.9.12

Don't Drop Me

I sat in the familiar pew, surrounded by my closest friends. The weekend had gone by way too fast and the next day I would already be heading back to Faulkner. 
I couldn't help but feel anxious and scared. Classes were getting harder, schedules were getting busier, the future just seemed to loom over me. My mind wouldn't sit still, wouldn't focus on worshiping the Lord.
Mr. Mike, our preacher, walked up to the podium and began to speak.


Don't Drop Me: Worry and Anxiety


Goodness, I almost cried. My pen frantically started making notes, Bible was open and my heart was crying out to hear more. Throughout the whole rest of the sermon, I felt more and more peace. Verse after verse, example after example, I knew worry and anxiety was something in my life that had to go. It had gotten better, last year had taught me that much, but I couldn't just have it become better- it had to go.


Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

                                          ~ Philippians 4:6

It's my daily struggle, daily fight. But why worry? God isn't going to drop me.

17.8.12

Thank you

             The first week of college has flown by, and I can't help but stand amazed at all the wonderful things God has already revealed to me. New friendships, new opportunities, a new start, it's so overwhelming. I think back to this time last year and how much has changed. How my family has drawn closer together. Me making  new, unexpected friends. My whole idea of where I had wanted to go to college and what I had wanted to become completely turned upside down.
           I thank God so much for my family. I love them so much and I miss them dearly. These past couple of years had really drawn my family closer together and I praise God for that. My wonderful friends, I have no idea where I would be without them. Both my family and friends have helped me so much and I can't help but want to say thank you over and over again.
They have helped prepare me for this, this new part of life. They have shown me God's love to a whole new level, and have challenged me everyday to walk more in His footsteps.
So, thank you. I couldn't have done this without you.

14.8.12

First Day

    Tomorrow is the first day of school. The first day I wake up at six ten to work out. The first day I meet all my professors. The first day I meet even more people. The first day for lovely homework. The first day that begins this whole new life adventure. I am nervous, but I am also so excited. I have already been so blessed to meet so many wonderful people, and I can't wait to see what else is in store. I have been waiting, praying, thinking about this day for a long time and it has finally arrived.
  I think of all the amazing experiences I have already had, and how much God has truly blessed me. How much I have grown and changed, it's mind boggling. I want this experience to grow and change me even more. I pray so much that God will use me in so many different and unique ways that I can not even fathom right now. 
So now I pray, and wait for tomorrow to begin.

10.8.12

Becoming Broken

Healing

Such a powerful and comforting word.  

Broken, bitter, and hardened.

Now full of joy, thankfulness, and gentleness.

Beauty from pain.

Events in life happen for a reason. Reasons I don't understand. I fight, I cry, I shout, because I want everything to be done my way, in my time. 

Becoming broken has healed me.   

I couldn't fight, I couldn't scream. I had to bring my prideful self down to my knees and pray, cry that the Lord would help me, would heal me. 

And He has.

I have never felt so alive, so blessed. That once broken feeling has now led me to view life differently, to try to see through His eyes. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
                                                                                                                                  Jeremiah 29:11

So now I must watch, to seek out His will. Fulfill His purpose He has for me.

Because becoming broken is essential, with the Lord as my healer.














6.8.12

He Sees Me

Rain hitting the leaves outside my window.


I listen.


The garage door opening, welcoming someone I love home.


I feel.


Soft, warm covers around me.


I see.


Pictures of friends, family that bring back so many memories.


I smile.


A God who loves me, who sees me. 

She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me, ”for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” 
                                                                                 Genesis 16:13

How powerful are those words? The One who sees me. The One who knows my every action, every thought, every fiber of my being. He is my God, my Savior, and my Refuge. The joy, the pain, the journey, He sees. He not only sees, but reveals.

Beauty of His creation.


Blessings of a Home.



Family and Friends who Love me.



A Savior who Died for me.


He truly is the One who sees, but also is the One who beckons me to see, to see Him.








 

5.8.12

A New Life Awaits


College. One word that has a full spectrum of feelings. Excited but timid. Nervous yet curious. Sadness mixed with complete joy. It's hard to decide which one I feel the most, but I feel ready. I want to go out into a new environment and see what will happen. College will provide me personally with so many different opportunities and experiences that I cannot wait to see. I am ready for the Lord to use me in whatever way possible, and that in itself is terrifying and beautiful. One more week to enjoy my surroundings and then a new life will begin.