Head Spinning

Today was perfect.
I got to see my wonderful family.
Spend time with a close friend.
Auburn won a close, exciting game and I was there. 
I walked around a campus that I could potentially be at next year. 
It was fun, exciting, and yet I feel so completely terrified.
I don't know where to go or what to do.
My life is nowhere to being figured out. 
I am crying out for answers, hoping my prayers will be answered. 
I am just hoping, praying that my head will stop spinning.
I am praying for answers, for peace.
Please, God, show me where to go. 


To Another

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream
C.S. Lewis

Hello wonderful people! I am starting a new blog! Don't worry, I will still write in this blog, but I am widening my writing topics! I am really excited to see what God has in store for this whole new blogging generation. It is something that I am becoming really passionate about, and I would love to hear from you what I should write about, on this blog and on my new blog! Thanks for reading my thoughts, dreams, worries and hopes for the future! I hope my other blog will be just as a blessing to you as it has been to me! 

Much love,


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Time to Write

I have missed this. 
The sound of my fingers gently touching the keys.
Thoughts rushing through my mind.
Tears, smiles, laughter-it all comes with writing.
I have had so much trouble writing down my feelings from the past couple of months.
The summer was such a blessing, so completely convicting.
I didn't want to go back.
I have struggled with feeling content, finding joy when all I wanted to was cry.
But through the stress, the future looming over me-I have found peace.
I was a broken vessel at the beginning, but He has transformed me.
I didn't see the things He used, but I started to begin to fell whole again.
I have found that childlike love once again. 
I yearn for Him to use me. To challenge me. 
To take me to places I have never been before.
I thought I was whole before.
But now, it feels different.
It feels more real, more full of life.

So much more meaning dwells in those words to me.

Maybe through these months of silence, the Lord has prepared me to speak.
To speak loudly.
To write.

So, let the typing begin. 

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven...a time to keep silence and a time to speak.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 7


Even After

It's inevitable. 
It's one of those words that people don't like talking about.
It brings sorrow, memories, and pain.
Being young, we often think we are invincible. 
But, we need to think about death.
What happens after death, where will our souls end up?
But, we also need to think of what we will leave behind.
I don't want to be famous, or rich. 
I want to be remembered. 
I want people to know that I tried to live for God. 
I want them to not be sad.
I want to be remembered by my smile, my laugh, my love for others.
Could I still bring glory to God, even when I have passed?
I smile, believing that I could.
By my influence, by trying to spread the gospel. 
Maybe my dust will still bring praise to my Lord. 

What profit is there in my blood,

When I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise You?
Will it declare Your truth?
Psalm 30:9 



The sun is slowly rising, 
It is that quiet, peaceful time when the whole world seems to begin to wake.
Birds are chirping, the animals in the forest begin to stir--light begins to shine. 
Jet lag is working at its finest, so I sit and write. 
Trying to describe how amazing Africa was. 
I cannot put it in words or express how I feel. 
No pictures will ever suffice.
But it was like this morning.
Peaceful. Simple. Humbling. Eye opening. 
Each morning brings a new day. Africa brought me a new perspective.
Dawn awakes new life. I saw how precious life truly is.
Birds singing. We worshipped with hearts full of song.
Light breaking through the darkness. 
I saw Christians lighting up the world.
God's creation--simply breathtaking.
The joy of the children--heart warming.
The vastness of the night sky--humbling.
Words cannot describe how I feel. 
I grew. I laughed. I cried. I was changed. 
Just like the morning-- preparing to grow, to change for the new day.
So let me grow, Lord. To be changed even more. 
Just like each morning. 

Sonadi's Precious Children. 

Baby Elephant Orphange. 

Blessed With An Incredible Family. 

Victoria Falls. How Powerful Our God Is!

Sonadi Once More. Forever Will Be In My Heart. 

Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
Lamentation 3:22-23



I just want to write.
It's a crazy feeling and it won't go away.
I write all the time now. 
I have two journals.
One for my daily devotionals and one for personal writings.
I pour out my thoughts and feelings--my dreams.
I have a lot of dreams.
I don't want to just go through the motions.
Do what most people expect--what most people do.
I want to travel-- to explore the world.
I want to climb mountains, sail across seas. 
Swim in clear oceans. 
I want to meet people. 
Eat new foods.
Be different.
Make a difference. 
But I am living my dreams.
I have climbed mountains. I have swam in oceans.
I have met the most incredible people, all over the world.
I am living my dream.
Dreams don't stop.
Each dream can grow, become bigger and better.
I want all my dreams to come true.
Sure some may change, but why not dream the impossible.
It may not be as impossible as I think. 


Blessings Overflow

Two more weeks.
I can't believe my first year of college is almost complete.
It feels like I had just moved in, new place, new friends, new life...
New start. 
Now, it's almost done. 
I blinked once and I am already here.
How much has changed. How much I have changed. 
Growing stronger, growing better. 
Oh the memories. The laughter, the tears, the hugs. 
How truly blessed I am with the greatest of friends.
New feelings. 
Someone new, completely unexpected (literally). 
A boy that broke through that tough barrier of mine and still puts butterflies in my stomach. 
New dreams. 
If this year went by so quickly, what of next year or the year after that?
Am I embracing each moment? Living each day to the fullest? 
I am happy here, content, yet I wonder what awaits me in the future. 
I pray, I dream about all that will happen this summer.
Endless tanning with my best friend. 
Shopping with Mom.
Jogging with Dad.
Jamming out in the car with my favorite brother. 
New places. 
Those precious, chocolate colored skinned children looking back at me.
Just waiting to be loved. 
Me falling in love with new places and people all over again. 
Tears of joy and sadness are sure to come.  
New beginnings. 
How incredibly blessing this school year has been to me. 
And more blessings are sure to follow. 


I Love...

I love your friendship.
Becoming one of my closest, dearest friend.
Our talks, our laughs. Constantly together. Your honest opinion.
I love your fire for the Lord.
Your caring heart and gentle spirit. My accountability buddy.
I love your booming laugh.
 How you always make me smile and never cease to say hello.
So big, yet gentle. Always in the center of attention.
I love your frankness, your funny sayings.
Your beauty. Your zeal to learn more about God. Your weird music.
I love your humor.
Fast friends. Wonderful advice.
Your openess to others and opportunities
I love you as my roommate.
Your insight on things, your encouragement. Your excitement on the little things in life.
I love your smile.
Your teasing, your touch.
How we are honest and talk about anything.
That hat....
This is just a few... A few who have impacted my life.
How truly blessed I am.


More Than Just A Social Club

We did it.

We won. 

Seven years in a row. 

A brotherhood, a sisterhood.




Putting aside the victory, the trophy, the bragging rights.


We became more than just two social clubs.

We became family. 

~ Kappa and Phi Lamba


This Place

I am alone. 
No one is around. 
I have found that peace I have been craving for so long.

Lack of sleep.
Tests to study for, Jamboree practices, friends.

It's been too much.

I try to breathe, to catch my breath, just to sit.

Just to be still.

So much as happened these past couple of weeks.

I can barely keep my eyes open. I want to sleep for hours.

To be left alone.

It's one of my moods. My "leave me alone" phase.

So I excuse myself and go into a room, to write a speech due the next day.

I have to make a presentation. Put pictures in it, to talk about something that has impacted me.

I talk about what I hold so dear, mission trips.

I look through old pictures. I almost start to cry, missing those precious children.

Why has the Lord put this on my heart so much lately? Why do I feel like I am missing something? Why have I fallen in love with people and places that I have only known for a few weeks?

 Why do I just want to leave, why do I want to go somewhere to make a difference?

To fall even more in love with God's people.

But then I stop and look at my other pictures.

This place.

Am I making a difference? It catches me off guard. Looking back at me, with my dreary eyes, I see my wonderful friends. 

All smiles, jokes, laughter.

But the feeling is still there, something so deep is tugging on my heart.

So I just be still. Block out the noise, the distractions, and wait.

The tugging still remains. 

"Be still, and know that I am God"
    ~ Psalm 46:10


Waiting Hand

We do it again.
Start at the beginning.
We start at the beginning.
Stop, do it this way.
We do it this way. 
Faces! Emotion!
My face doesn't show emotion. 
I get frustrated. My arms are sore, legs are tired.
If I ever hear these songs again...
I am exhausted.

I am on the floor. Not willing to get up, not just yet. 
The song plays, the guys dance. 
Then it becomes our turn. I moan, about to get up and see a hand come into view.
I look up and smile at my dear friend.
I grab her hand and she pulls me up.

Start at the beginning.




I goof off. 
I smile.
I laugh.
I love.

We can do this. 
We are prepared. 
We are having fun.

We are Kappa and Phi Lambda. 


Growing Up

A new year. 

How quickly the years have passed, and how so much has changed in those years. 

The friends that have come and gone. Experiences that have taught me valuable lessons.

My wonderful family and friends. 

Life is a journey to finding who I am to become. 

Oh, how quickly it passes.

"So teach us to number our days,
That we may gain a heart of wisdom."
Psalm 90:12

Yearn for wisdom and number my days. 

Because isn't that true wisdom? 
To seize every moment for the Lord. 
To be still. 
To grow up in His' ways? 

Happy New Year. 

And God bless.