27.2.13

This Place

I am alone. 
No one is around. 
I have found that peace I have been craving for so long.

Lack of sleep.
Tests to study for, Jamboree practices, friends.

It's been too much.

I try to breathe, to catch my breath, just to sit.

Just to be still.

So much as happened these past couple of weeks.

I can barely keep my eyes open. I want to sleep for hours.

To be left alone.

It's one of my moods. My "leave me alone" phase.

So I excuse myself and go into a room, to write a speech due the next day.

I have to make a presentation. Put pictures in it, to talk about something that has impacted me.

I talk about what I hold so dear, mission trips.

I look through old pictures. I almost start to cry, missing those precious children.

Why has the Lord put this on my heart so much lately? Why do I feel like I am missing something? Why have I fallen in love with people and places that I have only known for a few weeks?

 Why do I just want to leave, why do I want to go somewhere to make a difference?

To fall even more in love with God's people.

But then I stop and look at my other pictures.

This place.

Am I making a difference? It catches me off guard. Looking back at me, with my dreary eyes, I see my wonderful friends. 

All smiles, jokes, laughter.

But the feeling is still there, something so deep is tugging on my heart.

So I just be still. Block out the noise, the distractions, and wait.

The tugging still remains. 


"Be still, and know that I am God"
    ~ Psalm 46:10

20.2.13

Waiting Hand

 Again
We do it again.
Start at the beginning.
We start at the beginning.
Stop, do it this way.
We do it this way. 
Faces! Emotion!
My face doesn't show emotion. 
I get frustrated. My arms are sore, legs are tired.
If I ever hear these songs again...
I am exhausted.

I am on the floor. Not willing to get up, not just yet. 
The song plays, the guys dance. 
Then it becomes our turn. I moan, about to get up and see a hand come into view.
I look up and smile at my dear friend.
I grab her hand and she pulls me up.

Again.
Start at the beginning.
Stop.

Frustration. 

Laughter.
Joy.
Friendships.
Teamwork.

Encouragement.  

I goof off. 
I smile.
I laugh.
I love.


We can do this. 
We are prepared. 
We are having fun.

We are Kappa and Phi Lambda.