I am alone.
No one is around.
I have found that peace I have been craving for so long.
Lack of sleep.
Tests to study for, Jamboree practices, friends.
It's been too much.
I try to breathe, to catch my breath, just to sit.
Just to be still.
So much as happened these past couple of weeks.
I can barely keep my eyes open. I want to sleep for hours.
To be left alone.
It's one of my moods. My "leave me alone" phase.
So I excuse myself and go into a room, to write a speech due the next day.
I have to make a presentation. Put pictures in it, to talk about something that has impacted me.
I talk about what I hold so dear, mission trips.
I look through old pictures. I almost start to cry, missing those precious children.
Why has the Lord put this on my heart so much lately? Why do I feel like I am missing something? Why have I fallen in love with people and places that I have only known for a few weeks?
Why do I just want to leave, why do I want to go somewhere to make a difference?
To fall even more in love with God's people.
But then I stop and look at my other pictures.
Am I making a difference? It catches me off guard. Looking back at me, with my dreary eyes, I see my wonderful friends.
All smiles, jokes, laughter.
But the feeling is still there, something so deep is tugging on my heart.
So I just be still. Block out the noise, the distractions, and wait.
The tugging still remains.
"Be still, and know that I am God"
- ~ Psalm 46:10